Anyway, back on thread. Here’s “Inga from Sweden” (as she’s properly known):

As you know, Sweden is reknowned for its’ musical heritage. Abba. Roxette. Ace Of Base. Bodies Without Organs (or BWO for short). Yes, you’ve heard of them…

And, clearly, Inga is no exception when it comes to the high quality musical output of the country:

See what I mean? Look, you can even buy the above single, “Mama Paparazzi”, on iTunes. Oh, and there’s also Inga’s group and page on Facebook. There’s even details of how to make an Inga cocktail on there. How fabulous!

Let’s leave you – belatedly – with her festive offering, in which (allegedly) she’s been a “bad, bad girl”:

I spoil you, sometimes…

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Fantastic. So, everyone in the world can watch it, except those on planet earth.

(Let’s not even touch on the copyright bollocks in the first place…)

Having said that, it might give off the impression you’ve been wanking too much, so be careful…

Can’t find the fault right now, but give me time – I will!

And, it seems, if you live in the Radford area, there’s a new hazard to be aware of. Never mind who’s lurking around the corner, you now need to be aware of what might be coming from the skies. Or, to be more precise, the high-rise blocks.

Yes, be wary of televisions being launched from balconies. Okay, so maybe Ant and Dec had been on telly once too often, and it sent this particular goggle-box viewer to distraction – but mind the contractors fixing their vans outside, eh?!

Amusingly (and picked up on by one of the more astute commenters on that article), the guilty woman was forbidden from…

… threatening to cause a nuisance or annoyance and from assaulting or threatening to assault others in the Pine View block of flats and adjoining car park.

She is also forbidden from damaging any Nottingham City Council premises.

So are these things normally okay, and accepted? Just in case anyone feels like assaulting their neighbours, or damaging any council premises, or causing a nuisance – bear in mind that launching a television out of a tower block will get those privileges taken away…

Further on in that article, in a separate incident, someone who launched a bin bag from their balcony (narrowly missing a caretaker) was sadly traced, due to being dense enough to leave letters identifying them inside the bag.

One more brain cell and they’d be a cactus.

Love the woman’s expression, too!

Ahhh, tune.

So, what plans are there for 2010, you may not be asking? Well, not many, as usual – I’m not one for saying “I’ll do this, I’ll do that” – but there are a couple of things that I’d like to achieve, certainly over the next few months.

The first, and foremost, is the one previously mentioned – to regain the weight lost, plus a bit more for insurance. The second – with a provisional target of April (i.e. to neatly coincide with my birthday, although knowing my strike rate with timing, probably September), is to visit Sweden. For some forgotten reason, it’s been an ambition for a good few years, alongside New Zealand (although the flight time would seriously put me off the latter) – and it’s one of those where it’s high time to break with tradition (i.e. either Hayling Island, or going on holiday at the end of June).

Some have suggested that this video bears some relevance…

… although I dispute that! It just seems like a nice place, with plenty to see and do there. The Ice Hotel seems like a must – which is why visiting the place in the summer would be futile – and of course there are package deals to incorporate staying at the hotel into your time there.

Time will tell, and it all depends on how much money can be accrued over the next three months.

(Oh, and for those wondering, the title of this post is Sweden, in Swedish. So, now you know…)

Instead, two interesting, if unusual, examples of people’s enjoyment of the recent snow. All I will say is… hasn’t it bloody melted yet? Go away, you evil bastard white stuff…

Exhibit 1: Riot police in Oxford make novel use of their riot shields, in using them to slide down a hill. The footage was captured, and stuck on YouTube for all to see – and seemingly approve, it seems. Except for, that is, their superintendent. Maybe they should have stuck to snowballing each other. (PS: if you click the linky, you get to see footage of them in action…)

Exhibit 2: From the “not the most intelligent move in the world” file (i.e. pretty fucking stupid) comes the 4×4 owner who decided that his kids were possibly too good to slide down a hill, and instead tied the sledge to the back of their vehicle. Then again, it was in Mansfield. I’ve lived there, and anything is possible.

Supposedly, the temperatures will rise to a meteoric +3 degrees celsius tomorrow. There’s a slim chance we might actually rediscover what the roads and pavements look like…

Depending on what time you’re viewing this, I’m either still working on it (with bits coming and going every few minutes, complete with a totally naff header and weird flowery bits), or I’ve run out of coffee and am sound asleep (and will thus finish it off later).

It’s nothing elaborate, but pink had to be the colour of choice, naturally.

Anyway, back to work for now…

So, 2010 is eleven days old already. Christmas already seems like ages back (thank god), the country has taken on the truest look of winter imaginable (can anyone remember what colour tarmac is?), and the date is yet another binary figure (11/01/10… next one will be 01/10/10, dull fact fans).

Any resolutions that may have been considered for the new year period were, as ever, either undertaken before or after the first day of the year. Never on the day for me, because that’s too obvious. Thus, the most recent (and brief) smoking stint came to an end on the 20th of December, and drinking ceased for the time being on the 25th. Neither were planned, they just happened.

Christmas Day in itself probably gave the strongest indication that it was time to stop drinking, after perhaps the most surreal 25th in memory. Spent, unusually (and perhaps for the first time) not at home – due to having had an invite elsewhere for some rather unknown random reason. Spent, expectedly, consuming mass amounts of Guinness and whisky; extolling my woes (or perhaps “woe”… I’m pretty certain it was a single problem) to – well – not a “complete” stranger, but someone I wouldn’t consider a close friend (but then, that’s what the booze does!). And, come 9pm, with eyesight failing, a taxi home was taken. Straight to bed, only to wake up at 3.30am on Boxing Day feeling right as rain, but realising that the previous day was perhaps an error of judgement.

Anyway, moving on. The third “resolution” – to start putting weight on again – also began before the new year. Stopping the cigs and the booze obviously increases the appetite, and after a year where my weight seems to have suffered at the hands of personal problems (more about which in a future post), it seemed like a good time – now the karma has been restored – to set weight gain targets. This has since progressed to a calorie monitor – yes, it seems I’m deadly serious this time!

Chateau Skytower’s conservatory, where most of the “boxes that need sorting” are stored, has become a no-go zone since the big freeze set in. Conservatories, eh? A fantastic idea, but only accessible for a couple of months of the year – for they’re either too bloody cold or roasting hot. Said “boxes that need sorting” are therefore staying put for the time being, until such time exists that I don’t have to don six layers of clothing to venture into there.

On the whole, though, things are good at the moment. It’s nice to experience the reality of life again, without the beer (or whisky) goggles getting in the way. People, however, have already voiced their concerns about a “dry” Skytower… mainly those who have experienced it before and were quite scared. See, alcohol tends to calm me down – without it, I’m unusually hyperactive and invariably more random than normal. Yes, it is possible. Last time around, the sober spell lasted nine weeks (that was around 15 months ago, I seem to recall). It has, of course, lasted for thirteen months before. So, place your bets this time…